“Papi, Ayo Main” is a heartfelt poem I wrote for my father.
It’s written as if I am calling him back — asking him to play with me again, just like when I was a child.
It began on a day when I really missed my father. I wished I could be with him again. Then it struck me—he has already passed away, he is in heaven now.
The first words that came were “papi, ayo main” — papi, let’s play. From there, the lines unfolded into choices: life or death, heaven or earth.
As I kept writing, I tried to reach back into my childhood memories. Some moments came clearly, but many felt blurred. There were times together, yes—but in my heart, it still feels not enough.
That is why this poem carries a longing.
A wish to return, to feel it again, to repeat my childhood with him—just once more.
The poem closed itself with tears, as if the heart needed to speak what memory could not.
“Papi, Ayo Main”
papi, ayo main – lari,
pilih hidup atau mati.
aku tahu papi pilih mati.
papi, ayo main – lari,
ke surga atau ke bumi.
aku tahu papi pilih di surga.
papi, ayo main,
bukan pilih hidup atau mati,
bukan pilih ke surga atau ke bumi.
karena aku belum mau mati,
dan aku masih mau di sini, di bumi.
papi, ayo main – jangan lagi lari,
tapi sembunyi di sini saja,
seperti waktu aku masih kecil.
temani aku sekali lagi,
aku mau merasakan lagi,
mengulang masa kecil bersamamu.
papi, ayo main,
main apa pun, asal kita
sama-sama tertawa. —— explain in short in english about this poem
About This Poem…
Each stanza begins with “papi, ayo main” (“papi, let’s play”), as if my voice keeps reaching out to him across life and death.
The poem moves through choices — life or death, heaven or earth — and then turns into a longing to stay together, to hide and play again, to feel childhood once more.
It ends softly, with a wish: to play anything, as long as we can laugh together.
If you carry someone you miss, and the words feel too heavy to hold alone, my Heart to Heart session is a safe space to let them out. You speak, I listen—without judgment, without pressure.
Or, if you’d like to try putting your feelings into words, you can write them out in a gentle way. An Express & Release session invites you to shape your emotions into a poem or letter—just as I did with this one.
